Before I had J, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I was more concerned about that aspect of early motherhood than anything else, including labor. I had heard so much about how it was awful; and painful and all the bad things, but very little about the good things. Still, it just seemed more convenient for the baby, and me and of course, better for him health wise. I was determined to do everything I could to make it work.
As his due date closed in on us, I had decided I would nurse for about 18 months, if that worked out for us. When people asked how long we would nurse, I would say, "Until he can ask for it", which I figured was at least a year. I took the breastfeeding course, which consisted of me and the teacher and a stuffed version of a breast that she could flip inside out. It was a revelation that the milk comes out of many tiny holes, not just one. Everything else I had read about somewhere.
I left the class with a "breastfeeding checklist" which consisted of a list of about 50 things that could go wrong while nursing. I wondered how I was supposed to remember all that while sleep deprived. I realized later it was more of a troubleshooting guide, rather than a checklist, and that made me feel better.
One thing we talked about was pumping a bottle for a night feeding. She explained the reality of the "daddy feeds the baby in the middle of the night" scenario. He would not wake up when the baby cried; I would have to wake him. Then I would already be awake, and listening to the baby scream while daddy bumbled around in the kitchen, warming up the bottle, finding the right pieces, etc. So not only would I be awake anyway, but my boobs would have been responding to the baby, and getting engorged, so I might as well nurse him anyway. This may sound pushy, but I think she sensed that the only reason I had the whole "bottle for daddy" idea was because I thought there would be something wrong with me if I didn't give him a bottle, so she said just what I needed to hear.
One of the great myths about nursing is that it's so natural that you and your baby will figure it out on your own. That is a load of crap. Witness the history of the midwife and duola. They were not only concerned with labor and childbirth, but also breastfeeding and infant care. It takes a village, from the beginning. It's a shame that so many women don't seek help at the FIRST sign of trouble, and just wait until they're so miserable they give up, and feel like failures for being unable to properly execute a natural function. A real shame for both mothers and babies.
I had J by emergency c-section, as he just got stuck due to his enormousness, and the first thing the people at the hospital did was give him a bottle of formula. They said his blood sugar was low. No kidding, I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. I was a little upset, but I was also having trouble. I had a fever and my heart rate wouldn't come down for a while, so I think they were trying to do the best for both of us. Anyway, they brought him to me, and I think it took 24 hours for him to nurse well. This is typical, as they're not really up to speed yet. Some people rail against medically assisted births for the sleepy babies they produce, but I loved me the epidural. I would have had it in my 7th month if they would have let me.
A lactation consultant came and manhandled me, showing me the "mash the burger" technique for getting it into the bay's mouth, and basically made me feel like an idiot. I complained to the staff, and they sent the lovely CO, the lactation consultant who taught my class, and she made everything all better. It wasn't her words, it was her manner. When I told her the baby had given me a blister (!) on one side, she was genuinely sympathetic, and showed me how to adjust his latch. I never got a blister again after that first day.
Once J got alert (and never slept again), he nursed CONSTANTLY. So much, in fact, that after the second day, and another three-hour session because my milk hadn't come in, I let him go to the nursery. They gave him a bottle, which they said he sucked right down, and I got a few hours rest for the first time in three days. I told them to bring him back when he was hungry again. Wouldn't you know it, by the time they brought him back, my milk had come in. We were much happier after that. It seems a little rest what all we needed.
Four days after he was born, I took my 10lb baby home. He had gained 10 ounces in the hospital, even after losing almost a pound the first day. That sounds like a lot, but a ten percent drop is normal, and with a baby that's 9lbs 6 ounces, that's well within the normal range.
The next installment will cover the first 8 weeks or so of our nursing relationship. Stay tuned, and thanks for reading.
-Anne
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